First things third:

Why Squort.com?

RY TO FIND a business name (preferably one containing the name of the product or service provided by the business in question) sometime that someone, somewhere on the Internet isn't already using in some form.

Early in 2001, I tried that — with what results you can probably imagine. At length, however, I hit upon the thoroughly outré Warthogs Unlimited — largely because I've always found warthogs fascinating in an alarming sort of way. Finding nothing for a change, I remarked to my wife that if ever we went into the warthog farming business, we could always use the name WarthogsUnltd.com.

Infinite wartpork arrives

A few days later, registering on the Free Internet Chess Server, I had to pick a nickname, and WarthogsUNLTD was born.

What language do warthogs speak? Right: warthoggish. And the first word of warthoggish ever to evolve was "squort," as defined on my Warthoggish 101 page in the Humor section. And since "WarthogsUnltd.com" seemed unduly long and awkward, when it came time to name this site, I couldn't resist using Squort.com. Not a word in any human tongue, perhaps ... but why narrow my horizons?

At that time, of course, my purposes for this site were rather different than they are today: This was before the Iraq invasion, and my intent at the time was merely to create a modest homepage plus a couple of additional humor pages on the space allotted by my former ISP. These were intended for the viewing pleasure of my family and my friends, both here in Santa Cruz and on FICS — hence my use of a term known to the latter as my standard salutation to them.

America invades

Then things changed. It grew increasingly apparent that George W. Bush and his neoconservative cabal were unwaveringly determined to wage an unnecessary, unaffordable, untenable and unjust war of conquest in Iraq; and, while I had accepted with some reservations the similar overrunning of Afghanistan, I resolved to make known my opposition to this scheme, and present as best I could the utterly damning evidence and arguments against this ambitious adventure.

Squort.com evolves

And so, my modest personal/humor site became something more. And yet, here I was, still stuck with the name Squort.com!

Now, unfortunately, I am far from rich: I can't really afford to discard a domain name I've just paid for and buy a new one; my wife would not be pleased. So, although I do still intend to set up a separate domain at some time for the Solidarity Alliance, I will make do for now at least with Squort.com and its subdomains.

(Update: I have now purchased SolidarityAlliance.com, and the site will soon be seen.)

The "Squort" Conundrum

Not long ago, if you searched Google for the term "squort," one of the links that appeared near the top of the first search results page was part of someone's note to the operator of "gardenweb.com," revealing that he/she "would never have remembered Squort.com." And, indeed, the term is easily confused with other, more commonly encountered words: Even Google wants to know "Did you mean square?" and constantly confounds its results with those for "squirt," with a fair selection of "adult" site links thrown in for that added touch of ignominy.

Off to a wonderful start so far, eh? I mean, what could be better? Confusing, suggestive of something vaguely pornographic, and hard to remember!

(Update: Thanks to Google's recent reconfiguration in accordance with the so-called Florida algorithm (shades of Election 2000?), the gardenweb.com note is once again featured on the first page of results.)

Tilting at the Gordian Knot

Then I remembered a once-obscure, strangely named company that no one would ever have expected to succeed or even to be remembered five years after its inception: Google.

So I've now set myself a challenge: to create a site so startling, so utterly nonpareil, that no one who had seen it would forget it ... and no one, having seen it, would pay attention to the porn sites. Far, far from easy in today's information-sodden world — but what worthwhile goal isn't?

And today, after all, Google is a household word.

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